How can I help my family understand why they won't be invited to our wedding?

i think the parties afterwards (i hope they are two separate affairs) are the best possible solution you could come up with. and you don�t have to let them know who your witnesses were. just that you got married and that you want to celebrate with them. wish you all the best and i think small weddings are how all weddings should be. i had a big wedding because of my parents and i didn�t enjoy it as much as if it was a small private affair. anyway. stop worrying everything will turn out just fine!